the best defense is a good O…

9 07 2009


It’s not just a title. It’s not just catchy. It’s the f*cking truth. I am a spy. I’ ve done it. I am “the fatman in disguise”.

There’s this whole group of people who never new me before, and though some of them know that I used to be  bigger (165 give or take pounds, bigger) they forget. They know, but they are not aware.

How do I know. I witnessed a tirade. A serious “what is wrong with those big disgusting fat people who have to use scooters in the grocery store” tirade. Not the kind of thing I was ever privy to when I was “bigger”. I knew it was said, I knew it was thought…I just never actually heard it. An incredible, blatant, fearful, HATEFUL, attack on strangers. On people unknown. On people minding their own business, doing their own thing. For no reason that I could, at the time, discern.

It reminds me of bicycling in the south (at least so far). I’ve been spit on, had rocks and cigarette butts thrown at me. I’ve been yelled at every day, over and over “get off the road”, “fuck you asshole, out of the way” “ride on the sidewalk (where  there was none)” “ride on the grass”. There was a big red truck today that could spit black smoke from it’s tail, and it spit it on me, and then on each rider in front ofme. The smoke, was not constant…which gave it a very deliberate feel.

Again, an incredible, fearful, HATEFUL, blatant attack on strangers. People minding their own business. Doing their own thing. Reason? Can’t find one…but wait…

It get’s me thinking. Why would anyone feel the need to attack something, unless they feel threatened by it. Which make me wonder, how does the dominant culture (people in cars on the roads/thin athletic “beautiful” people) feel threatened by the subculture. How can that possibly be. The cars are in full force, obviously they have the power. The thin, athletic “beautiful” people have the media and the youth oriented anti-aging social programing of the country on their side, so obviously they have the power. Why do they need to attack what obviously has nothing over their head. Is it possible that the bikes on the road have power? Is it possible that the over-weight people who need scooters to shop in the store have the power. Who is on their side? What is it in them that makes the car drivers and the pretty skinny people feel the need to defend?

 Not that they would fess up to that need. There’s no way they would admit to being afraid or defensive…but they don’t have to admit it verbally, their behavior dictates their  state of being, which is that of people under attack (people who  defend themselves) what else am I to think about their motive? Why attack something, why defend yourself against something that is not attacking you?

So how are they being attacked?

All I can figure, it that it has to do with the rules they’ve made up for themselves. The rules, that they’ve made up, that lace our society together. That hold the world in tight to their chest and tell them it will be alright. We all make up rules, right? I’d be a liar to say that I don’t. We all have our world, our version. What’s sad is how many of our worlds depend on validation from others to really confidently exist….and so….

When someone attacks our world, by doing something different…by looking different…by acting “strangely” , by riding their bike on the road we always take home from work and getting in our way, or using a scooter to help their “fat ass” shop…we lash out. We defend. And the best defense is a good offense. So we attack.

We allow our fear to make us bigots.

And the worst part is….we claim that we’re not even afraid.

People like that (sometimes like me)…what’s so sad is that they let their fears turn them into bigots…and they don’t even know that they’re afraid…they think they’re fearless.

Until next time….

i am










6 responses

9 07 2009

Can’t remember …. what is it that makes cowards of us all

Always interesting when we can look at anything outside our own point of view.

Sweet dreams

9 07 2009

Tyler… you are great at making me think. There is really something fucked up with people. Myself included (I guess). Now I’m trying to think of what I’m afraid of and won’t admit and act like a bigot about.

Evangelical Christians I guess. They are the ones that make me cringe and I think “what the fuck is up with them?” So why do I fear them and their power? Mostly because I am firmly and irrevocably convinced that they are wrong about at least 75% of what they believe, but know there’s no convincing them of that. (I doubt the god himself could convince them if he spoke from a burning bush or some such). Something to do with being raised a christian and rejecting it makes me hate them more I guess. What if I’d ended up like them? Ugh. My father got “born again” a few years before he died and annoyed the shit outta me. Is it my rejection of him (and oh do I reject him) that makes me despise his ilk? I never ever ever attack them in any way though, I just try really hard to ignore them and pretend they’re just crazy people in need of help from professionals.

Bikers and fat people I can deal with. Except kids on bikes who seem to never have been taught any of the rules of the road. They’re pretty bloody annoying, but really only because I’m worried that they’ll do something stupid and it will somehow involve me and my truck. Watch out for traffic, kids. And ride on the right. and use hand signals when turning.

My two cents.


9 07 2009

Patty- “Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.” (It’s Hamlet, from the famed soliloquoy.) If this keeps up, Stilwill, you might have to defend yourself with a bare bodkin! I wonder if part of the hostility is political? You know “these guys must be commy liberal tree-huggers who want to take away our pickups.” Just a thought.
Keep your head down and enjoy another swig of delicious 42below, the vodka for people on the GO!

9 07 2009

In this day and age when people shoot other people for no apparent reason it is amazing people don’t think before they spit, throw rocks or cigarette butts at other people. Someday someone is going to strike b ack in a very unpleasant way . People are so protective of their “space” and when others invade “their space” they can’t handle it. I once had a sign in my office “pease by 2000 with or without people. We needless to say did not achieve that peace and I suspect we will not in my lifetime until as you said not long ago the planet survives without us mucking it up[. Love ya.

9 07 2009

It’s OK to be both a BQ and a DQ

11 07 2009
the magnificent

i have nothing really to say except that i hate everyone.

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